The Discordant Madness
by Bronyruff Brandon
Summary: The three craziest beings ever to exist are sitting at the table, having a tea party. What could POSSIBLY go wrong! thank you, DrocsidTheDraconequis, Bemnal The Fallen, and Grotimnos for letting me use your OC's without permission. Rated M for language and possibly violence. I do not own anything but the storyline. All coyright objects/characters belong to their respective owners.


**(A/N): I have no idea where my ideas come from and I'm sure somebody has thought of something like this before but. . . YOLO BITCHES! Argh. It hurt to type that.**

_In The Space Between Dimensions_

Discord, Sheogorath, Currently in pony form, and Crimson are all sitting around a table, drinking tea. They are idley chatting and seem to be having as good a time as three insane people can have while drinking tea.

"This is SO BORING!" Yelled Sheogorath, the God of Madness. Crimson nodded as he floated over Sheogorath's head. "Indeed. We should go have some fun! Maybe pick up some mares on the way?!" Sheogorath smiled, setting down his tea. Discord clapped his hands together and stood up. "Ooh know just what to do! Come on lets go have some fun in Canterlot!" With a flash he was gone. Crimson finished his tea and smiled the creepiest, most sideways smile ever seen. "This'll be fun!" With that he opened a portal and walked through.

Sheogorath sighed. "Why do we always do what HE wants to do!" He flaired his horn and with a flash he was gone.

_Canterlot_

The three walked down the main road of Canterlot, turning everything around them into pure insanity. Discord was riding a cotton candy cloud and drinking chocolate milk. Crimson was in magic mode with his eyes glowing white. Sheogorath was simply trotting along looking pissed. Discord turned the roads into soap and Sheogorath laughed before skating of yelling "I love this!" Crimson smiled and began to speak. "Discord, why don't you go have some fun with Celestia, I have 'other' matters to attend to."

Discord smiled and nodded before teleporting away. Crimson grinned as he levitated himself of the ground, and shot off like a rocket .

_Near the edge of Canterlot_

A Unicorn with a snow white coat, a platinum mane, and a silver tounge cutie mark was sitting in his friends' house, sipping tea. Across the table from him, a unicorn, with a lava red coat, and a mane which was an amberish color and styled in a similar fashion to Rainbow Dash's. throat contained a skull tattoo from his collar bone up to the bottom of his jaw, the skull itself contained a crack ontop of it as if impailed and his eyes were crimson but with black diamond shaped pupils. Sitting in the corner of the room, was an alicorn who basically looked like a gender bent Luna.

The snow whit unicorn turned to the alicorn. "What are you doing over there Droc?" He said in a posh accent, similair to blueblood's. Droc turned his head to reveal half of a swedish fish sticking out of his mouth. "Umm, nothing. What are you doing Ivory?" Droc's accent revealed that he would be a laid back sounding british man if he was human. Ivory took a sip of his tea "What does it look like?" He turned to the other unicorn "Grotimnos you haven't touched your tea. Are you ok" Grotimnos stared down Ivory. "I don't like tea." When he spoke he sounded like Batman, or Morgan Freeman with a cold.

Ivory chuckled "Well why not? It's good for yo-" Suddenly, something blasted through the cealing. Droc moaned "Aw man. Now I have to get the roof fixed." As the smoke cleared they saw Crimson, standing there with an evil grin on his face.

All three of their jaws hit the floor at the same time as Crimson began to speak. "Long time no see fellas! We haven't talked in years, let alone hung out!" Ivory barely whispered out "Oh shit." As he remembered the last time they "Hung out" with Crimson.

_**-FlashBack: Canterlot Streets-**_

_The group had just left the bar, drunker than Berry Punch in an Alcohol manufacturey._

Ivory spoke with slurred words. "I seriushly love you guysh, you know dat." Grotimnos ran over to him and put hi hoof over his mouth. "Shhhh. We know. We love you too." Droc was holding a bottle of Captain Morgan's and drinking from it every few minutes before passing it around. "We should go-" he starts to have a laughing fit "We should go mess with Aunty Celestia! I can get us in where nooooo one will know" Crimson, being the drunkest of them all, nodded and spoke, almost incomprehensibly "Ah cen gets urs ther. Durnt worr*hic*y."Crimson flares his horn and they all teleport away.

With a flash, they reappear in Celestia's bedroom. As they all slowly realise where they are, they look around the room. They look over to their right and see Celestia shaking her flank in front of a mirror. She blushes and, before she can yell at them, they run away. They, literaly, burst through the door and start running down the hall, screaming at the top of their lungs and in sync "Celestia's a Ho!"

They hear the guards coming and dive into the nearest room. Unfortunately, they seem to have found there way into Luna's room, and she had just come out of the shower. She had a towel wrapped around her head and one wrapped around her body (which was really unescassery since they're ponies.) She was about to scream when Crimson ran up to her with lightning speed, and planted his lips on hers. They passionately kissed for about three minutes while Droc got angrier and angrier.

As they broke apart, a strand of saliva stretching and then breaking between their muzzles, Crimson put his hoof over his mouth and made a shushing noise. Droc, now pissed and slightly sobered up, grabbed Crimson and started dragging him out the door. Before he could Luna began to speak. "Crimson, please tell me you haven't been out getting our son drunk."

Crimson motioned his hoof across his throat in a 'don't say it' way but it was too late. Droc looked from Crimson to Luna and back again before tackling him to the ground. "WHAT THE HELL MAN! YOU FUCKED MY MOM!?" Then the realization hit Droc, and it looked like a right hook across the face. "YOUR MY DAD!? WHAT THE HELL!"

At that moment the guards burst through the door. "Halt! you're under arrest for breaking into the castle!" Droc's face turned from a look of anger to surprise and he instinctively teleported them to ponyville.

As they appeared outside of Twilight's library, Droc starts to yell at Crimson. "WHAT THE HELL! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" Crimson simply looked at him and sighed. "Because I knew you would react this way." Droc grows even angrier and goes into Nightmare Moon mode. "THAT'S IT! CRIMSON, I HEREBY CHALLENGE YOU, TO A RAP BATTLE!"

Crimson was shocked. In Equestria, anyone who denied a rap battle was sent to prison for life, or banished. He didn't want to battle his son but he knew what he had to do. Crimson sighed and spoke again. "I accept your challenge, but I choose the rules. One go, no talking about mothers. Your up first." Crimson pulled a microphone out of nowhere and Vinyl popped up, deciding to host the battle.

Vinyl began to speak. "Alright everypony! Welcome to DJ PON3's Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! I'm your host and today, we've got some very special guests!" She gestures to Droc. "In this corner we've got the King of the Cosmos, the son of Princess Luna, Drocsid~!" Droc stands up on his hind legs and flexes his biceps.

She gestures to Crimson "And in this corner we have The Master of Dimensions, Discords former roommate, and the CRAZIEST motherfucker in history, Crimson~!" Crimson stands on his hind legs as well before flaring his horn and turning himself and Droc into anthros. He begins to explain. "It would be for the best if we could actually HOLD the mic." Droc simply stares him down before taking the mic. The music starts to play.

_Droc:_

"_You cant fuckin top me, no comparison kid_

_I'll embarrass and tear you before you barely begin_

_Who you thinks gonna win_

_Me or Will Ferrell here, with pubic hairs in his chin_

_Crimson, you're a follower, like sheep, but I'm a lamb killer_

_I strangle pussies like you and cook you for lunch and dinner_

_I choke you cause your raps are shit yet you are a damn winner_

_How does it feel to get slammed by your son, nigga?_

_Who the fuck likes this bitch and thinks hes sick_

_When his skills are as big as tiny tits on chinese chicks,_

_Hes about to be a prick just like his former ho_

_When she used to lube with crystal and fuck him fist to bo_

_And your damn flow, that shit is torture_

_You fucked around with Groti and got served like Luna's third restraining order_

_You pretend to be explosive like a mortar_

_You're just a pussy, man, lion of oz except shorter_"

He throws the mic to crimson who catches it easily and clears his throat before starting.

_Crimson:_

"_Now hold up, this kid acting mighty with his nose up_

_He's thinking if he fights me that his name and game will blow up_

_But oh fuck, he didn't do the math before he showed up_

_You can't compare a pro to an amateur whose flow sucks!_

_And to top it off, he's acting like he knows stuff_

_I know that Luna flew the coop, and now my heart is closed up_

_So try and hit me bitch, I'll take all of your low cuts_

_I'm single now, make the ladies shake their ass, like oh Shucks_

_Crimson has grown up, he's past the shit at Everfree_

_He's being something all these haters said he'd never be_

_Screw the jealousy, and all the shit you jock me with_

_You and Ivory can suck my dick like it's a pocky stick_

いいよ(eyoh!) _you will never see me fade_

_Because I'm rocking this, every time my CD's play_

_There is no stopping this, no matter what you g's say_

_You need to know about me? Check the fucking ED page_

_I'm the psycho that just can't be beat_

_I'mma punch your fucking gut in like a stamping sheet_

_You ain't nothing but a guest MC_

_Who's pissed at me cause Grot and Ivory gave your ass an STD_

_In reality, you like me bitch_

_So watch me work my fucking rhyming with some tai chi shit_

_You lost the fight, and now soon like those Chinese chicks_

_You'll be screaming as I fuck you, yelling_"大好き"(Daichi) _bitch_."

Crimson tosses the mic to Vinyl. All of them have there jaws hanging loose and Vinyl put her glasses on top of her head. She begins to speak "I think we have a winner! Give it up for Crimson!

Crimson walks over to Droc with a smile on his face. "you okay Droc?" Droc shakes his head and looks at Crimson. He sighs before speaking. " You won, fair and square. What do you want me to do." Crimson acts like he's thinking deeply before smiling. "I want you to forgive me." He extends a hoof for a bro hug. Droc smiles before taking the hoof and bro-hugging him. (If you don't know what a bro-hug is PM me) "Okay. I forgive you, but don't expect me to call you dad." Crimson smiles again "I wouldn't dream of it."

_**-The Present-**_

Ivory shakes his head as he comes out of the memory. he smiles at Crimson as he sees the others giving him high hoofs. He walks over and high hooves him as well before Crimson begins to talk. "I need you guy to come prank Celestia with me." They all look at each other and smile before nodding. Crimson smiles that crazy smile and teleports them all to the main streets of Canterlot.


End file.
